Each night before sleep my husband and I take turns telling our boys a bedtime story. Its a tradition we started early on and for some reason it stuck. We make the stories up and sometimes they are silly and other times they are intentionally slow and simple to help transition to sleep after a full day. Sometimes the story holds a lesson. I often relate the story to events from the day – inviting a bit of reflection on anything that may be unresolved.
After a particularly choppy day, I told my boys a story about a boat on water. It had been one of those days when the emotions were running high. There had been conflict. There had been a good dose of mayhem. As I laid in bed with two of my sons, I felt completely belaugered. How could I ease the ending to what had been one of the more difficult days I’d had with my boys in a long while?
With the stories I tell, I often follow what I need to process just as much as what I imagine my boys may need to work through. The image of water came to me as I’d been flooded with emotions – and I myself felt like a boat on choppy water. How could I hang on? What was needed in order to find equilibrium after an evening of tumult?
The story slowly unfolded with the image of two boys on a boat. They were on a journey after a storm. Things had just begun to calm – and the previously choppy waters had returned to relative stillness. I began to talk about how our emotions are also like water – sometimes choppy and sometimes calm. Just like a sailor on a boat, how can we too aim to find equilibrium? How do we feel what needs to be felt but not be entirely controlled by the emotions? I ask the questions as they slowly drift to sleep.
The story is about the power of observation. The boys on the boat observe the water and full spectrum of the horizon as they also tune in to how it feels on the boat. The observant sailors have a special ability to feel the full spectrum of what is happening, but also not to be yanked like a dog on a leash by big waves or big feelings. They know how to weather storms. How? Through practice.
The story explores how to find balance in spite of storms. Some things are beyond our control – but how can we stand on deck, using our inner resources to meet what comes? What bravery is needed? And what about when confusion reigns and mistakes are made?
The boys on the boat somehow find their strong center of gravity, even when there are big waves, sharp edges and hurt feelings. There is no need to be perfect here. Boats rock. Waves roll. But then the calmer waters are restored. As the boys drift across the water, they take time to feel the full spectrum of life’s journey across the world.