Struggling against the ‘scarcity model’ – I pancake myself into the grass and let loose. Wind blows, trees rustle, clouds drift and air cools my skin. Summer drifts into Fall, and I try to rub the panic from my face that says things like “not enough time, not enough sleep, not enough space for this or that…” Instead, abundance! Age old wisdom repeats itself in my mind, reminding me of slow saunter of gaze and breath – even if I only have these 20 minutes for THIS – this is enough and more.
Really, I want hours of “retreat.” How to make your life a retreat? Retreat in the best sense of the word: sacred, following calling, noticing beauty, not living dictated by time or schedule but by whims of inspiration and spontaneity – with time for reflective appreciation of time’s passage and time to connect with those we love… Days keep passing and the great question is whether I am living in alignment with my reverence for this Life – not only relishing life’s moments in all their variety, but also living lightly and mindfully – driving less, cloth diapering more, farmer’s market calls…
Lifestyle. Lifestyle. Lifestyle. It all comes back to how our values are translated into the ‘ordinariness’ of a day: Eating mindfully, hugging Rowan mindfully, being present (fully) with what arises. Chris and I were listening to a podcast last night about the greatest gift you can give your child: Presence. That is, giving your full, undivided (yes, non-multitasking) presence. This is what translates into self-esteem: an experience of knowing and feeling you’re worth someone else’s full presence. How often do we not give this because of the myriad of directions we are pulled in a day?
Today, I am called to reassess what is really important. (By the way, those dishes can wait). I am called to take Rowan along with me in moments of relishing and resting. A question becomes how to bring slowness of gesture into all movements, even with deadlines and timelines? The trick is to get out of the line and back into a circle. Nowhere to go, nowhere to be, but right here: sitting in the center.